Week #1 of deployment.... - through these gray eyes...: Week #1 of deployment....

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Week #1 of deployment....

We're a whole week of deployment down.... I'm definitely struggling in the mornings! I have overslept a couple of times which is not exactly ideal but, hopefully, I will find some kind of routine where I manage to switch my brain off before 2 in the morning.

Deployment is a bit of a roller-coaster for the old emotions... I'll be honest, there are moments when I hit a wall and I don't know what to do with myself but, I always seem to get a message from Tom at that point and off I go again. I really do feel like a clockwork mouse. The strangest thing is the feeling of perspective and clarity that seems to happen during deployment, the everyday worries and insecurities seem to vanish and everything seems to make sense. It's so strange! But incredibly helpful! 

So far, being in the house on my own has been ok... we only have neighbours to one side of us at the moment which helps... I can locate any strange noises now - when they were on both sides it was very confusing, I couldn't tell whether the noise was in our house or next door.

My goals
So far I have achieved the weekly goal I set for myself of getting to an exercise class. It was brilliant. I feel so much better for it and I'm glad to say I ache so it must have done something... I'm hoping to start working on the fortnightly goal next week and my monthly goal of getting out for the day will be achieved by the end of this weekend as me and Kelsie (my next door neighbour) are headed to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. We also met up last week which crosses off my other weekly goal.

I have a bunch more things that I want to/have to achieve before Tom gets back now that are slightly more home orientated:

1. De-clutter and reorganise - I am really happy with the way our home looks, it genuinely does look pretty 'homely' but we seem to acquire clutter - especially in our bedroom. We still haven't unpacked properly and I've just brought back more boxes from my parents house and bits and bobs that were left in Tom's room, it would definitely be a step in the right direction to just sort all of that out!

2. Puppy proof the house and garden: I have to get this done regardless really so I suppose its just on the to do list rather than a goal! I am slightly dreading the puppy proofing of the house though... between us we have way too many shoes and wires!

3. Sort our wedding and honeymoon photo albums and complete our wedding scrapbook.

I'm certainly keeping myself busy!!

Communication is a lot less compared with other deployments which is difficult but we've done long distance for 3 and a half years and I guess we are better at communicating because of this. (Living together still seems like a massive luxury to me).

I've sent Tom Eblueys over the week that have arrived within 12 hours which is amazing. For all the other deployments they have taken about 3 days to arrive. Eblueys are a free service for sending letters to a BFPO digitally. They are sent via an email service and then printed and delivered at the BFPO. It essentially makes normal postal times possible across 8,000 miles!

I also sent a parcel out on Monday - hopefully it won't take too long to get there and then I will be able to share with you bits of what I sent to him. It was free post too which is a massive bonus!! Wahoo for Christmas!!

A Frequently Asked Question and a disconcerting phrase
One of the most frequently asked questions I get while Tom is away is - How do I manage? 
Simply, I manage because the alternative option is far worse. I can get through a few months of missing him and keeping myself together rather than being without Tom at all. It's no longer a test of our relationship, I used to feel that it was, now, it is just part and parcel of being together and we will make it through.

I keep hearing the disconcerting phrase of 'some life'. It's not something I came across when I was only Tom's girlfriend but it keeps popping up this time, maybe now I'm his wife it's considered my life too even though I went through the same thing as his girlfriend that I am now. It would be fine if this 'some life' had a positive connotation, unfortunately, it isn't being used like that.

I can promise you, it is 'Some Life' and I'm using that positively. It sucks that he goes away but, that is a minuscule percentage of the time we have together.

How's your week been?


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