Wife Mishaps - 6 months review - through these gray eyes...: Wife Mishaps - 6 months review

Monday, 23 February 2015

Wife Mishaps - 6 months review

Tom and I have been married and living together for a little over 6 months now. My domestication and 'wifelyness' (that really SHOULD be a word) has not been plane sailing and the domestic goddess I really thought must exist within me has been a bit of a no show. She might have come into her own if I didn't have a full time job as well but, there really isn't much time to nurture her so I stumble on. I'm not saying that we live in a total state of disarray and have to order takeaways every night because my cooking is so horrific but... there have been some events:

The fire alarm - It transpires that this is an extremely sensitive item of technology and potentially put too close to the kitchen, however, I was the one who set it off first and it turned out that I didn't really know what to do when it did go off. I mean, not a clue, I think I jumped and looked at it for about 30 seconds until Tom suggested I turned it off and shut the door! Definitely not my most clued up moment. I think it took Tom a month before he began to set it off and it was finally written off as over sensitive rather than the fault of my cooking!

The ironed tie - Probably the most honest mistake that has become my least finest 'wife hour' . Thankfully, our relationship has lived to tell the tale and I, at least, can laugh about it! This incident happened during the high stress moment on the morning of Tom's sister's wedding. He had left with the other men to help with heavy lifting and completing finishing touches at the venue. I was left to do the ironing and get ready. I saw Tom's tie hanging with his uniform already tied and thought it would be nice for him to have a freshly ironed tie. Ohhhhhh nooo big mistake!!! Who knew that the RAF number ones tie knot is quite so difficult to retie! I don't think it was ever quite as perfect as it should have been even with several people's help to retie it!

Ooow! Hot! - Honestly, the number of times I have watched parents pretending to touch and burn themselves on something that is hot to try and prevent their toddler from being scarred you would think that this might have sunk into me. But, no! I will quite happily touch the oven rack when it has been on for an hour or pull the grill out without its attachment. It is literally as if the brain signals are not getting through! I have more scars from these 6 months of cooking and ironing than I have ever managed to get in the years preceding marriage! It has become a bit of a standing joke that there will be continuous expletives and 'ow!' noises from the kitchen when I am cooking.

A fiery tea towel - As you will have gathered by now - me and heat/fire don't really get on. This is probably the most scared I have been while being responsible for keeping a house still standing. I am really glad that Tom was out at work for this one because otherwise I think he would be alot more worried about leaving me in the house on my own! It was a simple error of judgement, placing a tea towel too close to a lit gas ring! Realistically, it could have happened to anyone. 

Usually in cases of emergency I manage to enter into a calm mode that allows me to handle the situation perfectly, it does seem to panic people around me though because it is so obviously out of character. However, on this occasion calmness may have reigned but logic had totally left the building. 

I lifted the tea towel which was burning fairly rapidly and attempted to throw it out of the kitchen window. The windows in our house have those handles where if you turn it one way it is just ajar and if you open it the other it totally opens(I'm sure there is a technical term somewhere)... I've still not got my head around this system even in a moment of total clarity(I have a serious issue opening doors/windows/using a key anyway)

I couldn't get the kitchen window to open and I was worried that the tea towel would start to drip hot tarry stuff as it wasn't pure cottony goodness. So I headed to the back door which was locked. Our dining room is carpeted so, for fear of dropping remnants on the carpet I attempted the next window... This one I did manage to open... don't ask me how I can open one and not the other but there it is. With the window open fully I finally managed to fling the tea towel outside(just as the fire alarm helpfully informed me that there was a fire), unlocked the door and went to douse the flames! 

What I have missed to tell you is that below the kitchen window is the kitchen sink which logically would have been the ideal place for the tea towel to go in the first place without any attempts at opening windows or doors.

My latest trick - this one I do not seem to able to shake off. Half the saucepan of spaghetti seems to end up in the sink! Honestly, it seems to happen every time! Use a sieve I hear you say... well, I must suddenly have become completely incapable because that doesn't seem to help either! It's the same result but with more washing up! And... while we're on this point... does anyone know how to effectively clean a sieve without it taking several attempts? Suggestions in my comments would be greatly appreciated! I need all the help I can get!

Its fair to say I have learnt alot in these 6 months, and will probably continue to do so, most importantly:

- It is highly unlikely that anything will turn out perfect the first time around;
- In fact, perfect does not exist;
- I probably haven't turned the oven off;
- The many things I have wanted to achieve will probably stay on the 'to-do' list for quite some time; and
- Being too helpful is always unhelpful.

I will be ever grateful for Tom's continued patience and the fact he takes it on the chin when he only has half a portion of spaghetti!

Have you had any similar moments of domestic drama? I'm not the only one right???


  1. This was absolutely a lot of fun to read! I've now fallen in love with your writing style as it is really classic. You just got yourself a new reader! :) Keep it up!

    1. Thank you so much! I will do my best to keep it up :) x


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