September 2015through these gray eyes...: September 2015

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Why I shouldn't be left unattended in a hospital and other mishaps...


Since falling pregnant (why does that phrase exist? falling has very little to do with getting pregnant) I have spent more time than I could have imagined in the med centre and hospital, not only that, I have spent more time than I could have imagined using their facilities/toilet/loo - take your pick, it's all about the peeing in a pot.

It seems that this task causes me serious issues (don't worry I'm not about to launch into waaaaay too much information).

I'm not very comfortable in any medical setting, I know that this is a feeling shared by many but it seems to cause me to totally embarrass myself in my ridiculously nervous state.

Somehow my sense of personal space and direction evaporates... I've found myself surrounded by four or five doors having no clue which direction to head in but knowing that the store cupboard isn't right and nor is the xray room. Usually my sense of direction is spot on so this completely confuses me.

The first of my mishaps occurred the second time I went to visit the midwife, I hadn't worked out the pee pot procedure that worked best for me at this point or that my nerves would render me quite so clumsy.

I thought I was doing really well until I turned round to get a paper towel and somehow managed to knock the full pot flying (thankfully all down the inside of the sink not over me) and ended up having to go to the midwife with the smallest sample ever.

And that's the only occasion so far that my pot has had to be sent away for further testing because it's shown up with a water infection... typical!!

The second mishap I've had I found myself pot in hand in the disabled loo of a hospital (I had been sent to the disabled I wasn't queue skipping) the pot filling was uneventful with so much extra space and I 'calmly' turned to flush the loo....

I pulled on the cord that seemed to be the obvious well positioned flush if you happened to be less able than me. Nothing happened, so I pulled again, harder. On this second pull I noticed that it lit up a  big red light in the ceiling. Maybe not the flush afterall so I looked for an alternative flush kind of button and found it in the usual place on the top of the cistern. 

While I was washing my hands it occurred to me that, that RED cord that I had pulled to begin with, the one that lit up the ceiling, just might be the panic alarm. I left the loo in a hurry, hoping that nobody would come banging on the door, or let themselves in.

I was greeted exiting the loo by a nurse informing me that I had indeed set off their alarm and she had come to check that I was ok... Mortified doesn't even begin to describe my feeling it was like ringing 999 and then realising that the police/ambulance had already arrived.

Since getting pregnant I have had a few other mishaps that seem to be entirely due to my change in size... I seem to be very conscious that I have changed size BUT I seem to think I have got smaller, I now find myself boxing both my ears as I get in and out of a car... Don't ask me how I manage that, I just do.

The other ridiculously embarrassing mishap I have had in the past few weeks is testing out the smells of some shower gel in the main aisle in Sainsburys and finding myself having squirted a load of blue gel up and around my nose! Luckily, I found this so funny that I wouldn't have been in the least bit bothered if the whole shop had erupted laughing at me but.... really?!

I seem to be going through a massive moment in my life of embarrassing myself (and Tom) in public places... Is this going around everyone or is it a side effect of pregnancy??!!



Monday, 21 September 2015

Happy Monday

So I seem to have had incessant computer issues over the past two weeks which has meant it's been a bit quiet on the blogging front the past couple of weeks... I'm attempting to deal with them still but basically I am winging this and hoping that it all works out! I've missed my Happy Fridays for the past two so I'm cheating a little and rolling two weeks into one list of 10 things that have made me happy and calling it a Happy Monday... It seems a good way to catch up on whats been happening with me anyway so here goes:

1. Supporting Wales in the Rugby for the first time and them winning(this was 2 weeks ago now not the World Cup games)... Ok it was a bit of a dodgy win but, a win is a win.

2. Christmas away with Tom's family is finally booked... it's been in the pipeline for ages but trying to get something that suits everyone for so many people is always so difficult.

3. The arrival and erection of the spare bed for the nursery... its so nearly done!

4. Serious online baby shopping means we nearly have everything ready!

5. Enjoying the last glimmers of summer after work at a pub by the river ... (not drinking an alcoholic beverage but it was still perfect)

6. Downton Abbey... Autumn/Winter are coming!

7. Lack of Wifi on Thursday evening meant that Tom and I played a board game which was a lot of fun! I think wifi needs to disappear more often.

8.This weekend we visited Cotswolds Birth Centre to see if that's where we would like to go to have the baby... I think it is and Tom is happy with it. I'm not a very hospital sort of person and I'd like the whole birth experience to be as good as possible... obviously this is one of those things that I have no control over whatsoever but it's still necessary to plan!

9. My reading this month has been pretty self help directed. On Friday I received 'Happier at Home' by Gretchen Rubin which is the book that Bon's Book Club is reading this month! It seemed to call out to me amongst all the change that is happening in my life at the moment. I will be reviewing it on 8th or 9th October so if you would like to join in and check it out for yourself there is still time. 

10. Today is our 2 year 'engagement anniversary'. It seems that once you're married the milestones prior to your wedding get dropped by the wayside which I think is sad. All of the moments are the stepping stones to where you are now, they seem worth celebrating, besides, only now is a certainty... I'm not being morbid, it just becomes reality after a year of missed celebrations because of deployment... so even though I only remembered while walking to work this morning we shall be celebrating tonight.



Wednesday, 9 September 2015

10 things I wish I had known about the first 3 months of pregnancy!

I'm a little behind with this, I mean really behind - I only have 10 weeks and 1 day until due day! I  had a good few months off from blogging while I adjusted to the idea of my life changing and deciding what I wanted for this space. I had never really thought that I would be a 'mummy blogger' and while that was all I could think about I didn't want to fill this space with non stop baby because I might bore some people to death and also, I found it very hard to write when I had such big news that I couldn't tell anyone.
Before I share with you what I learned in my first trimester I will give you a whistle stop tour through the discovery that I was pregnant.
I am now kicking myself that I didn't record the day we found out... Clearly, I may not be much of a dates kind of mother. However, I think it was a Thursday and it was definitely in April... I had spent a few weeks struggling to get into clothes and had gone through a serious moment of depression... eventually I took this to Tom - I really was at the point where I thought I was either pregnant or my metabolism had died with turning 25 and I was going to have to go on a diet.

So, on this potential Thursday in April I presented myself to Tom at lunch time and literally said ' Do you think I look pregnant?' I probably followed that with an 'or am I being paranoid?' (knowing full well jeans and skirts weren't fitting.)

He agreed that I was looking a little on the big side and maybe it would be worth doing a test just to make sure. So when I got back from work we went and bought the 'stick of destiny'. 

When I  have had to do these before I have always waited for ages (and it's been negative). On this occasion before I replaced the cap it already had a little blue cross. This caused me quite a bit of panic, including requesting Tom fished the instructions out of the bin to check it didn't mean there was something wrong with it. 
Another 2 tests later (just to be certain) and now here we are: 29 + 6  down with  uncomfortable ribs and growing excitement mixed still with occasional panic.

10 things I wish I had known about the first 3 months of pregnancy:

Don't get me wrong... with 12 nieces and nephews I knew a fair amount about pregnancy but the first 3 months when nobody is letting on that they are pregnant, you end up hearing about it in short hand and the symptoms which have now become irrelevant are very relevant to first time mums at the time!

1. First and foremost, it really is THAT easy to get pregnant if all is well with both parties... I know they tell you in sex education that it can happen the first time etc, etc (it wasn't the first time but you know what I mean) and I also know (being one myself) that accidents really do happen...REALLY! I always thought that I would have decided to 'try' for my first baby and it would take a good few months.
Luckily, we were thinking of trying to start a family this year but we wanted to wait until after our massive holiday in June... Well, things change.

2. Measuring size in fruit and veg becomes entirely normal... This is just beyond weird... its not exactly science and its even less exact when no website or app seems to agree but still, it sounds good saying the baby is the size of a winter squash.

3. Just because the baby is the size of a lentil does not mean you feel any less manky and tired...

4. The tiredness.... OH MY... you think you are tired after doing two all nighters.... try growing a baby and a placenta! I always thought tiredness was something that came later on when you're huge and carting a watermelon about with you all the time. I was falling asleep e v e r y w h e r e.

5. Morning Sickness... It doesn't always happen and if it does it may not be very noticeable! The obvious symptom that I would have reacted to I had very little sign of (I occasionally felt car sick all day), and I feel massively guilty that I got off lightly but.... instead I had:

6. Depression... I don't know anyone else who has suffered from this during the first 3 months but I had 6 weeks where I could not see the point in anything, I was miserable as sin and nothing could make me happy hard as I tried. It lasted about 6 weeks, caused all sorts of grief and then disappeared as quickly as it had come. I still didn't even know I was pregnant by the time it had gone. So that was a very bizarre phase that I really wish I had known before could be a possible symptom. I guess it isn't surprising with all the hormones doing crazy things inside you.

7. Baby brain is instantaneous... The number of times I have lost my car keys or left the hot water on so that it runs off is innumerable and I genuinely feel like I might be a fire hazard!

8. Soft toothbrushes may make your life suddenly seem ok again... I have accidentally bought soft toothbrushes before and I hated them. I never really knew that pregnancy could have any effect on your teeth and gums but after a few days of pain and bleeding I embraced the softness!

9. Food aversions may be your favourite food or the food you eat most often... When I've heard about food aversions they have always been obscure or from the smell of them cooking but my food aversions was Chicken breast, Tom's favourite food and probably the meat staple in our household (or was). I struggled with how it looked, what it felt like, chopping it up, cooking it and then trying very hard to eat it. I don't think I will ever feel the same way about it again. Also I had an aversion to pizza... I am loath to admit to it! I loved pizza and now I can only eat it very occasionally!

10. Your instincts are probably right (most women I have spoken to knew instinctively that they were pregnant)

So there you have my top 10 discoveries of the first trimester! Did anything bizarre or unexpected happen to you? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments...



Monday, 7 September 2015

Love yourself a little more...

I read something in Cosmopolitan this weekend which really made me think. I'm not really one for reading magazines as they always end up making me feel naff about myself. The only magazines I've really enjoyed along those lines are wedding magazines... I guess that's because they're all about happiness and pretty things and dreams coming true, however I can hardly buy those now without looking a little odd to Tom.

So I fancied a magazine and picked up Cosmo ...

I didn't actually expect to be writing a post due to one of the articles though.

Jameela Jamil's article about not relying on your appearance to keep your man really struck a cord with me. With my body changing through pregnancy and having been slim before I have been feeling pretty weird about it. Just looking in the mirror or my reflection as I lock the door has had its moments of making me feel less than attractive.

However, Tom doesn't seem to feel anything less towards me or find me unattractive and the beginning 3 months I looked really, really rough so I would completely have understood.

I realise now that my security sometimes has been boosted by my looks and it shouldn't really have been. I don't know if I will ever return to exactly as I was before pregnancy but that isn't all Tom fell in love with me for.

I need to give myself a break and we women need to give ourselves a break and give men the credit for not being entirely shallow and choosing their wives or girlfriends on their looks alone.

There is more to all of us than our looks and what we wear, and whatever those things are... that's what make us stand out amongst the others.

I haven't exactly worked out what my other things are but I'm going to take Jameela's advice and realise what:

"sets me apart from other women, that would be likely to make a man (Tom) turn down a gaggle of women, out of fear that he would lose me?"

And then, I'm going to love it, and love myself a little bit more for it... And give my extraordinary pregnant body or even equally extraordinary post pregnant body a break from boosting my security.

What sets you apart from the others?



Friday, 4 September 2015

Happy Friday's

I've been away for a while so my ideas of what I want to do with this space are a little different but mostly I want to concentrate on really writing, recording whats happening in my life and creating a happy space... and out of the happy space part comes "Happy Friday's" - 10 things that have made me happy this week.

With hormones and life changes come many feelings and I want to end my working weeks on a high to help begin an awesome weekend... hormones or no!

 So, here they are (in no particular order)

1. Getting back to writing and doing my blogging thing

2. Baking scones - yes, very easily pleased but I love baking and have been wanting to make scones for ages! Finally I did it!

3. Making pamper time - I'm pretty useless at making time for myself in the week... As soon as I get home from work I have a list of things to do and I seem to be unable to deviate... I did yesterday by sleeping and felt awful afterwards, but I have managed to add in a bit of me time this week which has been really nice.

4. Hearing our baby's heartbeat and seeing Tom's face... That never gets old!

5. Swallowing my fear about starting my own business... It is back in the wings again but I shall not listen! I now have a name and an Instagram account for it... As soon as there is something to see you will be bombarded with links!

6. Making September and October plans... I love planning fun stuff and its closing the gap between now and the due date which helps... I am getting a little impatient to get the whole birth thing over with!

7. Getting more Christmas shopping done - it sounds a bit overly organised but we have lots of people to buy for and with a November baby I'm trying to get it all done beforehand.

8. Receiving a parcel off my awesome friend Lucie - she cheered me right up when I was feeling pretty low  

9. Spending decent time with Tom and Zoubi courtesy of the bank holiday

10. Loads of hauls I've received in the post... Dresses, baby stuff, books. It's been like Christmas here!

That's my 10, I would love to hear what's made you happy this week?



Thursday, 3 September 2015

September Goals & A Quick Catch Up...

It's September and I've been wanting to get back on here for ages but things don't seem to have quite gone to plan or I've had writer's block. Maybe both. However, today I seem to finally be ready to write!

I'm loving September... I seem to have reset in the way that I do for a new year. I have goals and resolutions and it's day 3 and I haven't broken any of them yet!

It's probably a good moment to bring you up to speed with whats been happening in my life rather than just telling you all my hopes and dreams for September. They won't make any sense without some background.

So without further ado .... a fair number of months compressed into a few bullet points!

~ I'm pregnant... 29 weeks exactly. I've gone through all the 'feels'...terror, worry, guilt, excitement and I'll no doubt be continuing that seesaw for the next 11 weeks and a bit beyond. But, I've finally excepted that not feeling insanely excited all the time is perfectly normal, my life is taking a dramatic turn down a new route.
~ Tom has done another 6 weeks detachment which was very unexpected and meant he missed the 20 week baby scan.
~ I'm in the process of launching a business... In the midst of one dramatic new route, I thought throwing another into the mix would be fun too... As my plans form and the business launches I will keep you up to date
~ We hosted all of Tom's family at our tiny two bedroom house which was a lot of fun 
~ We've now been married and living together a year. Its been quite the adventure so far! So excited to have hopefully many more together!
~ I discovered Outlander! What a series, I'm now trying to read the books... I really wish I had read them first, I struggle to get into a book after I've seen it in a series or film... Is that just me?
~ My garden is growing and I successfully grew Sweet Peas from seed and my Rose is in full bloom! 

It's really very difficult to think of the little 'big' things that have happened in the past few months when there are such 'big' big things that overshadow it all!

September Goals

1. Be healthier for me and the baby:

Eat Clean... It seems so easy to just eat whatever I fancy being pregnant and now is probably the moment in my life when that is actually not the best idea. I'm also becoming a bit of a green tea fanatic... the real leaves and everything.

Take exercise and walk to work every day... I found this prenatal pilates dvd which I love... I think its actually the first fitness DVD that I have really clicked with. There are three different 20 minute workouts which I mix and match or just do one of depending on how I am feeling. The best thing is that it constantly reminds me to use my stomach muscles and do pelvic floors so I know I am doing them everyday in some form.

2. Finish the nursery up to its 'pre-birth' stage:

This has been a slow work in progress thing. We needed to get rid of a spare bed and move stuff around and with Tom being away I haven't been able to do it myself. Also, I'm a massive believer in jinxing myself (I know that sounds bizarre) and with everything baby related I'm being very slow and steady in getting stuff.

3. Make a serious start on my business and develop a portfolio on Instagram of products available

It's all about making dreams come true this month... sort of... or facing fears and being a healthy fitter version of myself all under the excuse of pregnancy... 

Happy September!


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