Why I shouldn't be left unattended in a hospital and other mishaps... - through these gray eyes...: Why I shouldn't be left unattended in a hospital and other mishaps...

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Why I shouldn't be left unattended in a hospital and other mishaps...


Since falling pregnant (why does that phrase exist? falling has very little to do with getting pregnant) I have spent more time than I could have imagined in the med centre and hospital, not only that, I have spent more time than I could have imagined using their facilities/toilet/loo - take your pick, it's all about the peeing in a pot.

It seems that this task causes me serious issues (don't worry I'm not about to launch into waaaaay too much information).

I'm not very comfortable in any medical setting, I know that this is a feeling shared by many but it seems to cause me to totally embarrass myself in my ridiculously nervous state.

Somehow my sense of personal space and direction evaporates... I've found myself surrounded by four or five doors having no clue which direction to head in but knowing that the store cupboard isn't right and nor is the xray room. Usually my sense of direction is spot on so this completely confuses me.

The first of my mishaps occurred the second time I went to visit the midwife, I hadn't worked out the pee pot procedure that worked best for me at this point or that my nerves would render me quite so clumsy.

I thought I was doing really well until I turned round to get a paper towel and somehow managed to knock the full pot flying (thankfully all down the inside of the sink not over me) and ended up having to go to the midwife with the smallest sample ever.

And that's the only occasion so far that my pot has had to be sent away for further testing because it's shown up with a water infection... typical!!

The second mishap I've had I found myself pot in hand in the disabled loo of a hospital (I had been sent to the disabled I wasn't queue skipping) the pot filling was uneventful with so much extra space and I 'calmly' turned to flush the loo....

I pulled on the cord that seemed to be the obvious well positioned flush if you happened to be less able than me. Nothing happened, so I pulled again, harder. On this second pull I noticed that it lit up a  big red light in the ceiling. Maybe not the flush afterall so I looked for an alternative flush kind of button and found it in the usual place on the top of the cistern. 

While I was washing my hands it occurred to me that, that RED cord that I had pulled to begin with, the one that lit up the ceiling, just might be the panic alarm. I left the loo in a hurry, hoping that nobody would come banging on the door, or let themselves in.

I was greeted exiting the loo by a nurse informing me that I had indeed set off their alarm and she had come to check that I was ok... Mortified doesn't even begin to describe my feeling it was like ringing 999 and then realising that the police/ambulance had already arrived.

Since getting pregnant I have had a few other mishaps that seem to be entirely due to my change in size... I seem to be very conscious that I have changed size BUT I seem to think I have got smaller, I now find myself boxing both my ears as I get in and out of a car... Don't ask me how I manage that, I just do.

The other ridiculously embarrassing mishap I have had in the past few weeks is testing out the smells of some shower gel in the main aisle in Sainsburys and finding myself having squirted a load of blue gel up and around my nose! Luckily, I found this so funny that I wouldn't have been in the least bit bothered if the whole shop had erupted laughing at me but.... really?!

I seem to be going through a massive moment in my life of embarrassing myself (and Tom) in public places... Is this going around everyone or is it a side effect of pregnancy??!!



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